Competition, There is None.

Competition.

Where does the constant need for competition come from when we are talking about our kids, or even our parenting?
It's something I see on the daily, and quite franky Im calling bullshit.
Mums need to support Mums, Dads need to support Dads, and Mums and Dads need to support each other.
We are ALL on this crazy journey called parenthood, and not 1 of us really know what the fuck we are doing.
We just do it.
Whether you have 1 child or 7 children, each child is an individual being and each journey is different.
Which leads my to my next question.
Why cant we praise each other when we talk about our childs achievements?
Why do we compare our kids when their genetic makeup is NOTHING alike?
It makes no sense to me.
I tell you what, the next time a friend, partner, or parent confides in you about their childs achievement, praise them, hug them, be proud for them.
Because the last thing they want to hear is, "Oh yes Billy has been doing that for months!"
Well thanks for the stab!
It's like saying "Your childs good but mines great."
I have never noticed this more than ever now I have my own child.
One with his own added challenges.
I know he will learn the things your child already does even though they are 6, or even 12 months younger than him.
But he will do it in his own time, and he will do it triumphantly.
And I will be the proudest mother for each and ever tiny milestones, because these little people of ours want for nothing but love and praise, and I will give that too him.
But I would be lying if I said It doesnt hurt when theres this need for people to constantly "out do" you.
It's tough seeing your child struggle and do 10 times the work of others and I'de be lying if I said I dont care when he achieves these milestones, because I do care.
All we want is for our children to succeed and be the absolute best they can be, and I am working myself into the ground trying to make that happen for my child.
What I need, what we all need, is people supporting us. Acknowledging that yes maybe your child achieved something before mine, but that now is not the time to rub that in, now is the time to say, "this shit is hard on the best of days and your doing a fucking fantastic job!"
It doesnt matter how you parent, in the end we are all parents doing the best we can for our kids.
And in the end all these precious humans will shine when its their time.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hey You, Yes You.

Image
Oh what I wish I had said. Hey you, Cashier at Big W, yes you. You know the new mum with the diagnosis of Down syndrome for her baby? Yeh her. She doesnt want to hear about your negative encounters with people with disabilities, particularly down syndrome. Or how you once had a conversation with a lady about how she couldn't understand why people would interact with "retards" or how they "have no future" or that they are "disgusting." Did you think this story would make a mother feel at ease? Did you think it would make her excited for her childs future and the bullying you so openly find appropriate. Yes my child has down syndrome, like many other people that have varying differences, and this does NOT mean they are a burden to this world because of it. Nor does it give people permission to say such foul and hurtful things. People like you are a burden to this society, not people like my son, not those of us that are kind, and loving
Read more

The Truth Behind Your Smile

Image
When we are out and about what do you see? I see a baby looking at me. You stare, you whisper and give a faint smile, It's something I notice from as far as a mile. I hear your words as clear as day, I couldn't do it, you will say. You ramble about someone you knew, "Down Syndrome is given to the lucky few." To which I nod and give a smirk, I can see you are sorry and starting to lurk. I share my story of how he became, You tell me I'm special for playing this game. My eyes roll for I've heard it before, I'm just another mother you've met at the store. We are no different, me and you, Mothers with children both of us two. We both have a Journey, unique and its own, The difference you see is what we have known. Just look and you'll see people all around, Different faces, colours, all shapes and sounds. We've grown to judge by what we see, I strive to show you how he has changed me.
Read more

Be Proud Of You

Image
I asked my partner to take this picture of me and Oliver a couple of weeks ago. With the idea that in this moment I felt like a mum doing her best. We had just returned from a dinner out with family and our reality is thats tubes, tapes, medications and feeds must come too. Oliver had fallen asleep and he had his feed going and as I carried him from the car, upstairs to his bed along with his feed still going and trying not to drop anything, I felt proud, tired, but proud. Proud that we push through and overcome whatever comes our way. Proud that we change and adapt our lives to accommodate any additional needs that arise. Proud that I have an amazing, loving, supportive and helpful partner. Proud that I have a talented, determined, resilient, cheeky little boy. And proud that even though our life is different, its our normal and we are doing a brilliant job at managing it all the best we can. Dont get me wrong, it can he hard too, the stares from strangers in public, f
Read more